Friday, December 31, 2010
''Even if you cry, it wouldn't change anything''
I know that. Don't you think I know that?
But they won't stop coming.
I have bargained. I have begged. I have promised. I have yelled. I have done everything I can think of, save curse.
I didn't want this to be my last post of the year. I didn't.
My vision is blurry from them. I can't really see what I'm typing.
I feel terrible. This isn't how my year should have ended. It wasn't that great a year but it shouldn't have ended this way.
''Tears won't solve anything'' they say.
Shut up. What do you know?
What do you do when you've tried everything, and there's nothing else to do but weep?
I'll tell you. You pray. You weep. You pray some more. And you weep.
I shouldn't be crying, but they won't stop coming, the tears.
Please beg them for me? Tell them I don't want them.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Are you raising your brows?
No i won't tell you what it is but i'll show you. Here
I'm promoting reading amongst young people :)
Ok that was... lame.
This thing is otherwise called a....(I'd rather not...say it). Oh you know what i'm talking about, you read the link...didn't you?? didn't you?? you did right?
Anyway, to the matter, we now proceed.
Some years back, I started to notice some funny things on my body. They weren't...furuncles per say. They were itty bitty things on my body that turned black and disappeared.
My mom told me the reason, but I didnt believe her, after all the things didn't really harm anyone, right?
Fast forward a few years, and here I am. There are no itty bitty things this time. There is one huge, monstrous...furuncle beloew my belly button. Actually it's like a second belly button, only bigger. and uglier. and more painful.
so painful in fact, that i can't sit down without the fly of my jeans slightly open..
yes it is that bad.
So ladies and gentlemen, after searching far and wide for what i am allergic to, i have finally found it.
Guess what it is? you can't.
wait for it...
waait for it...
p.s forgive the gbagauns, i was half asleep when i wrote this. sorry.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
I posted this because i think he's right. This is one of our major problems.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Maybe that's why I'm noticing many things,
Many funny things.
Like the fact that my sweater,
my old, old sweater,
has pictures of a cat
standing on a pig,
in front of a dog
wrapped in a million bandages.
Maybe that's why I'm noticing him.
The boy with the deepest eyes,
the strongest arms,
The thick, unruly brows,
The wild afro, the smoothest beard,
that ugly but intriguing scar
over the dimple in his cheek,
the most shapely lips,
complete with that dangerous, lopsided,
beautifully amazing smile...
Oh dear...it's boredom isn't it?
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Hey God, it's me again.
Yes, you are allowed to rub your eyes, you're probably tired of me already. Hey, if it's any consolation, I am tired of me too.
I just realised that i probably shouldn't have given you permission, because you don't need any permission from a mere mortal like me, you're God,you can do anything you
But I digress. The points dear God, yes there are two points...Hey you probably even already know, didn't the Bible say 'Thou knowest my thoughts from afar off?'. Yeah you do, but I'm still gonna say them anyway.
Dear God, Firstly, i really really really want to say thank you. For everything you have done. Right from the very beginning. This year has really been...well, you just did everything in your own miraculous way. Sometimes, when i prayed, i thought I was too small to be seen by you, I thought you weren't listening because I was a bundle of sin, for a while, i even thought, yes i will admit it, i even thought you didn't exist. But you kept showing me that you were around, that you would never leave me. I want to say thanks for all the Financial support, i know we really don't deserve it, after all, i even expected to study in Nigeria, and now my sister is in University too, so the fees are like, wow. But you always provide. I know we're not rich, Lord, but we are not poor either. I thank you for that. I thank you for Moral support, spiritual support. I thank you for keeping my Family for me, I really really appreciate that.
Secondly God, as you already knew even right before i was born, the new semester starts on Wednesday.. So today, I ask (I know i'm always asking, it's just that I need you so much) that you grant my friends and I wisdom that will rival Solomon's, Knowledge and Understanding. I ask that you help us this semester Lord, because we cannot do it alone. (Lord you know my real friends, even if I do not, and this prayer does not include those that wish me harm. Thank you).
To the more personal prayers. Lord, you know me and my big mouth. You know us, we're always together. Lord, you know I don't like to take rubbish, you know how some people can disrespect me because I'm younger than their youngest sisters or something similarly stupid, and you know I just can't let it go like that, i don't like arifin. But this semester Lord, I want you to teach me to shut my mouth sometimes, not really all the time, because *chuckles*, we don't want them to mistake meek for stupid, now do we? This is my third year Lord, and i want to insult people less, however much they deserve it.
Also, i know my eyes are very expressive, so that even when I don't actually say it, people know i'm thinking it. Would you be so kind as to help me with that too? Yeah thanks.
Now about sin. I really want to try my possible best to avoid sin, even though i know that is next to impossible. Just help me Lord, that's all I ask.
I guess that's all for now Lord.
Oh wait, can i trouble you a little more? Lord, you know Bold 3/Tour 2 has arrived, yes? And i want it. Would you touch my uncle's heart, so he can send me some money for it? Thanks. But if it ain't your will Lord, don't let it be.
Thank you for listening. You can get back to me anytime you want, I'll wait.
P.S. Lord help my anger over my return to school fade away quickly, so i can amuse my awesome readers with My Gutter Experience. Thank you in Jesus' Name.
The Busy Brains.
Monday, August 23, 2010
I'm back from my trip home!
This is not a real post, just an update,
because i got a few e-mails from readers asking for an update, yay!! i had no idea many people even liked my blog :D
plus i got five new followers in my absence!
Thanks a lot guys!
And yeah, i enjoyed my summer, all things considered :)
So, i'll be updating more frequently these days.
Hope everyone is doing fine.
Later dears X
Friday, July 9, 2010
So this is CerebrallyBusy reporting, live and direct, from Lagos, Nigeria, the centre of Excellence.
Yeah i finally took my trip!
The fam is fine, thanks for asking (even though you didn't).
The sister is sooooo grown, gosh...as if i'd been gone forever.
Anyway Nigeria is still pretty much as i left it.
I kissed the floor when i got home lol, i was so glad to be back.
It was too bad about my grams though.
My mother has been fussing about how exceptionally thin I am, and i let her, because it feels good.
You can probably tell that this is a hurried post right? yeah i thought so.
The only thing i kind of hate,is the traffic. Terrible. Tragic, tragic *insert mr. omar's voice*
I said kind of, because traffic gives my mom a reason to buy stuff for me from the hawkers, lol.
Anyway i really have to go now. It's not just me anymore, i have to share with the sis :D
forgive any typos.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Once upon a time I used to believe that. But then I grew up, and my cerebrum started to get busy, and i thought, does life REALLY mean hope??
Let's face it.
Life is not always the answer; sometimes, death is.
I see people really trying to save the lives of people who are far gone, and I shake my head. I wonder, do they really consider the feelings of the people in question? Do they know if those people really want to live like that, or not?
my opinion : No.
I don't know as I'm properly explaining the way I feel so that you guys would understand, but I really hope you do. Sometimes words just aren't enough.
I feel people mostly try to save lives because they don't want to have to deal with the grief of losing someone...whom they have already lost, by the way.
I mean, would you really say to a blind, deaf and dumb person, that 'where there is life, there is hope?'...anyway not like they can hear you or anything...HOW does a deaf, blind and dumb person survive?? really? They can't hear, you can't write on a paper and say'read it', they can't talk, HOW?
Or maybe someone who has become a vegetable. He can't think for himself, hell he can't even get up and pee by himself. what kind of life is that? would you really say to him 'where there is life, there is hope?'
Or yeah, a baby who has anencephaly , i mean really HOW would that baby survive? Don't you guys get me? NO FRONTAL LOBE!!
Did you hear of the Boy in the Bubble?? No immune system at all. If he inhaled dust, problem; if a mosquito bit him, problem, HOW would he survive? There's no freaking way, maybe in year two thousand and one million. Maybe.
There are a billion other examples.
That's why I support Euthanasia. That's why.
Because Life doesn't always mean Hope. Life isn't always the answer.
We should really stop looking at death as the enemy. Sometimes, he can be the friend, come to take our loved ones to a better place.
I am a Christian, and yes, i believe in Life after death. I believe in Jesus Christ, I believe in Heaven and Hell, I believe in the whole Christianity deal.
And I have lost a very dear person to me, so I know that it doesn't matter how young or old the person who dies is, as long as there's Love, you will hurt and grieve terribly.
But I am a Christian. And I
I know how it hurts to lose someone. But sometimes, Holding on, hurts a lot more.
That's my own two cents.
Or maybe he quote means something else that I don't understand. Maybe I'm taking it too literally.
What do you guys think? Is life always the answer? Does life always mean hope?
Friday, June 25, 2010
I'm supposed to be watching the Spain-Chile match, but it's so boring...just like the Portugal-Brazil one. Boring.
Anyway boring don't matter as long as you get the points, yes?
Anyhow anyhow, something has had me worried for a few days now...I'm gonna tell you all about it, and then you're gonna give your opinions, how's that?
So you know how, when you're browsing; one thing you're reading leads to the next, and to the next like that like that?
Yeah so somehow, I stumbled upon John Fashanu's wikipedia page.
Let me first say this.
The guy annoys me. I don't know why, He just does. I remember back in Nigeria when I used to watch that his show 'Deal Or No Deal Nigeria' on Africa Magic. He used to annoy me.
Anyway so I again moved on and stumbled upon his brother's name. Justin Fashanu. Handsome young man.
The guy committed suicide.
He was the
He was accused of sexually molesting a seventeen year old boy, and so he committed suicide.
I dont think he committed suicide because of that incident. I think a number of things must have led up to it.
First of all, what shocked me the most was that the guy came out at all.
I mean, it was 1990, and homosexuality was a very very big deal then.
Another thing that really shocked me was the fact that his idiot brother, John, publicly disowned him.
Like he actually disowned him publicly.
This is someone who moved around a lot with him when they were kids, because their parents split up. And y'all know how close that thing can make siblings. They only had each other.
And yet, when a little trouble came by, he was the first to disown his brother. How marvellous.
He was the first to say 'He is not my brother'.
He joined the world against his own flesh, his own blood.
I'm not saying homosexuality is right. Because I know it ain't. My Bible tells me so.
Whatever the hell it was, whatever!
Now of course, if the guy's own family was against him, tell me, what should he have expected from the world?
His career suffered drastically, his social life, his relationship with his family, everything.
I don't blame him for committing suicide though, for what would he have done?
I cannot imagine what my sister would do that would make me disown her, or my brother.
No seriously what could she do?
sleep with my husband?
kill my father? my child?
Because I don't get it. what on earth would make me disown my own blood? My own flesh? I really don't get it, and I'd very much like to know.
What could your siblings do, that would make you disown them??
Sunday, June 20, 2010
this post was a draft...it has been a draft for a while now...i was waiting for the perfect time( lie! i was just too lazy to finish it up). I didnt even know it was Fathers' Day today ^_^...but since I'm here...I guess now's as good a time as any.
I miss my Daddy
I miss those days when i would sit on his feet, and he'd swing me up and down and I'd be screaming in joy.
I miss the stories he used to tell my siblings and I...you know, about how the tortoise became bald now...all those olden days stories
I miss when we'd just all of us gather round, and gist, and he'd be there cracking dryly funny jokes. I miss when we'd sit out on the porch, and my dad would tell stories and punctuate them with rather smelly farts, an he'd say 'Don't worry, we're outside, it won't really smell'' lol
what I don't however miss, is watching a
Don't say I didn't warn you.
i miss my dad.
I miss my dad.
I miss him truly.
I remember the first time i saw him kiss my mom. I was like 'Ewwwww Daddy IYANMAAAA!''.
He laughed at first, and said 'Wait till you get your own husband'. I was fascinated. I asked him all sorts of questions.
'daddy why did you do that?'
'daddy is it sweet?'
'daddy did mommy like it?'
'daddy you swallowed her spittt''
and so on.
I think I grossed the poor man out. He never kissed her in front of me again...ok not until i was about 14.
Sooo i totally talk too much.
I was just going to pop in, say Happy Fathers' Day to my dadda( on my blog, which he doesn't know about), and pop out again. Guess I just got carried away. I liked it though. Made me think about the past.
But somewhere along the line, my Dad and I stopped being so close...I think it was somewhere between puberty and late office hours.
We kind of got a little closer again on our trip to Abuja in 2008...
Ah but that's me and my Dad. On today, off tomorrow. Hopefully when I get back home this summer, we'll get a little closer.
#deardad i miss you. you dont know it, i might never tell you, but i do.
He is not the world's greatest dad.
But he is a great one.
My Finals were fine, thanks for asking.
It rained today. hmmph. annoying, i tell ya.
Well. That is all, I guess.
The busy brains :D
P.s: i didn't proof-read, so please bear with any
Friday, June 18, 2010
and i have decided that Enough is Enough and I am going to talk.
When will Nigerians accept the fact that they were not the better team, and get on with it??
Ok this is about yesterday's football match, in case you're wondering.
I have been trying to talk since, but people don't want to listen to me...this is the only place where I can be heard.
So here are my views.
Kaita did not cause us to lose that damn match.
Yes i said it. Sue me.
We did not lose that match because of Kaita.
Please before he went crazy, what exactly did he DO on that field?
So he kicked someone and got a red. So bladdy what?
Would he have scored anyway??
Wait let me answer that.
Would he maybe have prevented a goal??
Well he wasn't a defender soooo I'd have to make a safe guess and say No.
What he did was wrong, but it didn't cost us that match. We lost because they were the better team.
Now I do not claim to be a football expert, many a time I have been accused of being a mere football watcher and not an analyser(don't ask)...but i believe I have common sense.
At the time the first half was ending, those people had about 16 shots on target, against our six. They scored one...Enyeama is amazing, bless him!
Please oh, don't attack me, but shouldn't that have clued that our Lager-whatsit coach, to the fact that that they were the better team, and shouldn't he have increased the defence?
Me i don't even like that 4-4-2 arrangement anyway, but when Taye was taken off the field, why wasn't he replaced???
why was there only ONE defender, ONE! against such an amazing team? They oppressed us big time. And as far as I'm concerned Osazie didn't play in that match. Hmmph.
In fact that match was just all-round terrible.
And please how did that nigga with the long ass name miss that goal? (i think his name was Obasi)
and look at what our captain Yobo said
Supersport:Yobo,do you still have a chance of qualifying to de next stage? Yobo: ''NO, NO way,as u can see we played a very inexperienced game today...der r lots of inexperienced guys in our team who cudnt play well so we lost...theres no way for us now...we'r out...2 defeats,thers no way for us to bounce back n make it.We r OUT''
I was like Nigga whaaa?? I hear he was referring to Haruna in the inexperienced part. That guy has twice as much talent as he does. And he is an idiot for saying that.
Honestly why do I even bother? why am i believing in a team that doesnt even believe in itself? I should just give up and support Brazil or Argentina(yeeahhh that's not gonna happen). The way I see it, im stuck with Nigeria.
Hmmph. Please whatever.
I will just sit here and entertain myself with these pictures of Kaita crying. Well maybe not exactly crying but yeah...
On a lighter note, I hear West Ham is interested in Enyeama...for about 4 million pounds...
I also hear Man utd is too.
alright this is just a football post. ugh.
i might delete it later.
The Busy Brains
P.S: i now delcare summer officially open :D lol
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
How's it going??
Shout out to the new followers!! Welcome to my boring blog :)
So. While you guys are chilling, basking in the
But my workload is terrible sha. Like really.
Oh I have good news!!!! Yes listen up, listen up!!
My big brother graduated on Sunday!!!
Yeah, he's now an accountant!!!
I was so excited, I told almost the whole dorm :)
I can't stay here long, i have to hit the books again in a few.
You guys should put me in your prayers, ok? yeah thanks.
p.s: one, i think i will change this template, it doesn't show me the dates of my posts. History is important, wouldn't you say? Two, i think i shall have to put back that word-verification thingy. Sorry, but some people have been spamming the hell out of my blog, talking 'bout betting on horses and whatsit. Who gives a flying rat's ass?? Not me.
Oh and one more very important thing!
Summer will not begin until I say so!!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
How is everyone doing??
Me, not so great...you know how end of sem stress can be now...
So we be chillin' for the scary finals to come and go.
Oh, right, Happy New Month!
We're almost halfway through the year already, time does fly.
It's still raining though. I wonder what the clouds are doing in the sky at this time of the year, kmt.
Nothing much is going on in my life. Same ol' same ol'.. I don't even know why I'm blogging...
There's this #Idontappreciate TT going on on twitter...so imma go on ahead and list a few of the things I don't appreciate.
- I don't appreciate girls calling me 'bitch'...like 'yeah, that's my bitch right there'...or even binsh..errm, No....i dont care if it's supposed to be affectionate...whatever happened to 'dear' 'darling' or all those other endearments?
- I don't appreciate 'Yo Momma' jokes directed at me. Don't you dare insult my momma, no sir.
- I don't appreciate guys telling me I'm playing hard to get. Err...no. I just don't like you.
- I don't appreciate people telling me 'Why you listen to that shit girl'. It is my iPod, the ears are mine, i will listen to whatever kind of music i like, thank you very much.
- I don't appreciate how, when I'm watching a movie, someone be leaning over my head and telling me what's gonna happen next. I especially don't appreciate it when the person is like, ''OOOOOh, you won't believe what will happen next, you just won't believe it, watch watch!!!''; and the scene comes, and it is so ordinary! Gosh, makes me feel violent.
- I don't appreciate people tweaking my cheeks. I'm not a baby, dammit.
- I don't appreciate poke-nosers. Take a sip of urine and mind your own goddamn business.
I did say 'a few', so i gotta stop.
In other news, what the hell is that I read about Al Gore and Tipper(lol do you guys know what they call Tipper in Naija?) breaking up after 40 years of marriage? That's just total BS mehn. Total and complete. After 40 years??!! what were you doing for all those 40 years? Shit.
Theo Walcott isn't going to the world cup :( that BBC article was just insulting mehn, even though it was true.
Hey, so I changed my blog layout....i was due for a change anyway...it was so hard to choose...so i downloaded about 10 layouts, and will be inter-changing them, every, like 4 months or so...:)
I have a little problem though...there's a part where the layout is supposed to show the date...but it shows 'undefined'...any idea how i can rectify this?? A little help would be appreciated, thanks :)
So what don't you appreciate? Tell me :)
P.S: i need a new follower, sharp-ish! I hate almost-figures, they scare me... i might have OCD :/
Friday, May 28, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
That’s my phone ringing. I pause my movie and grope around for the phone. I pick it up without looking at the caller ID.
‘’…Temi, mama is dead’’
My annoyance at having my movie interrupted dissipates. I am suddenly plagued with so many emotions; I cannot differentiate one from the other.
My sister keeps talking but I don’t hear what she says. That simple phrase keeps repeating itself in my mind. First I’m confused as hell, then my mind slowly grasps the news, then I’m sad that mama, my mama has died. Then I’m happy that she has left all the suffering of this world behind, then I’m mad that she didn’t wait for me to arrive home, to at least say goodbye.
Then my heart breaks, I actually hear the snap. My heart weeps…
‘’she died this morning…’’ she continues
I take in a ragged breath and release it almost immediately.
‘’Temi please don’t cry…you know she lived a good life’’ she says earnestly.
I just hold the phone to my ear and I’m not sure what to do with my other hand, so I put it in my blue jean pocket.
The phone keeps passing between her and my mother…I know I’m supposed to be consoling my mother, but I couldn’t get the words out.
Somehow ‘’I’m sorry’’ seems like such a lame thing to say in these times.
The credit finishes…or my mom hangs up…I’m not sure, but I hear the dial tone in my ears.
I drop the phone and think about my mama…in my mind’s eye, the clock slowly goes back….
I’m five again. Mom said to have garri for lunch, with sugar and groundnuts. Mama puts very little sugar in our garri, cos she doesn’t want us to have ‘jedi-jedi’ Then she puts the sugar on the topmost shelf, so that even with the chair, we can’t reach it. Fast forward a few years, I’m what, ten? She can’t do this anymore, cos we’re now the same height. So she wraps it under her wrapper and puts it under her pillow J
Fast forward again a few years…I’m 13…the neighbor’s son is eyeing me. Mama gives me the sex talk. I don’t get half of it…but she keeps ringing it in my head…the mortification lol.
Anyway at this point, tears start to roll down my cheeks…my friends think I’m silly for crying…(she was over 100)…but I’m not mourning or anything…the tears just keep coming…I think I’m crying cos I’m gonna really miss her…not because she died.
Things started going downhill around 2008…she had a mild stroke. She really thought she was gonna die then…I guess God had something else in mind huh??
It really hurt me to see her like that…she was a really strong woman…she used to wash all the clothes in that my big house…whether they were dirty or not…and then suddenly after the stroke, she couldn’t even go to the bathroom before peeing all over.
It was sad.
I’m glad she died.
Because at least she’s in a better place now. She’s resting. She isn’t sick anymore.
That’s what consoles me.
Mama…rest in the bosom of the Lord. We will surely meet again at the feet of Jesus. Until then…
p.s: I still can’t believe she’s dead, you know? I always thought she would outlive us all…ok not exactly…but I thought she would at least live to see her great-great grandkids by me L
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
my mother will never ever understand why i do that though lol...
other times though, i just sit there and daydream lol X_X
and until i finish my dream, i won't stand up o!
so basically, it gives me some alone time.
Now about eating:
if we'd been created without the need to eat...hmmn. hmmmmmn. like for real, hmmn.
where would mcdonald's be?? where would kfc be?? or mr bigg's? or sweet sensation?? or even iya basira sef! ahhh my mother's cooking!
i would soooo miss rice,even though i'm tired of it!
and that purely sinful chocolate cake! ooooooh subway cookies, chocolate chip cookies...gummy bears, okro soup...efo riro,i would miss them all...
#ugh amala! ewww. semovita, double ewww...well let's just say some will be missed more than others lol.
There are really many things we take for granted in this life. Honestly. I think we should all sit and think for 5 minutes about how blessed we are, and then appreciate even the littlest things that come our way.
so what do y'all do in the toilet? like for real i'd like to know *batting lashes adorably* tell me please? please please please :)
The Busy Brains.
p.s: toilet and bathroom are NOT the same. so when you want to pee, quit saying 'i need to go to the bathroom' , the bathroom is where you have your bath, the toilet is where you poo #getitright #kthanksbye
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
So here I am,40 years on, trying to put myself in their shoes...I'm sure I barely brushed the tip of the iceberg.
So much sorrow…
Too much of it,
So much sadness,
Everyone is hurt.
In the midst of it all,
We smile through our tears,
We sing through our sorrow,
We laugh through the despair
Gripping our hearts,
There’s a ray of hope,
A silver lining,
We hold each other,
Cos love’s all we have left,
The sun shines brighter,
The clouds look cheerier,
The birds sing louder,
The trees dance better,
They sway to the wind.
The world just looks…
Our broken hearts
Are beginning to heal,
We are taking a step forward,
As a country, as a family,
All who died during the war,
Will not die in vain,
They died for a better tomorrow.
We will make them proud,
Biafra will live forever.
*Too bad it didn’t last