Love ke?

I've always prided myself on being very romantic, and we aint talkin' very here, we talkn VERY.

im as romantic as they come, you know, flowers, sweet words, fancy restaurants and the lot, in fact, i love love. i love reading about it, watching love movies, helping people with their love lives and all.

But i hate it when the love is directed at me.

i hate it when guys fall in love with me( hey, im not a lesbo, i hate it when girls do too). i don't know why, i really don't...and i'd give an arm for it to be otherwise.

when i was in high school, it was kind of sweet, you know? i didn't detest it then. but when i wonder what happened between then and now, i can only come up with one answer.

Life.

Every guy seems like a liar to me. if i go to a therapist, i can imagine what they're gonah say.

''someone probably lied to you and u've never trusted anyone since and bla bla bla n blahh''

sorry, but i hate therapists.

But tha truth is, no guy has ever lied to me...well, except one, and that was fairly recently...so i donno why i feel this way.

I need answers, and quickly too.

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Another thing i keep wondering about is, does love really really exist??

as in really?

i read about it, i watch 'it' happen to peeps,i even watch stupid, totally hopeless people almost kill themselves because of unrequited 'love'.

and these people are kids my age! i can't imagine dying at this age when i have a whole beautiful life ahead of me, kai! and even if i was gonah die, there better be a better-no pun intended-reason than unrequited love, shettt mehn lol.

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I think i've been in love once. when i was 13. People say that wasn't love, but if it wasn't, then there's nothing like love because i've never again felt so strongly for anyone else.

could someone define love for me please? and i don't wan't a merriam-webster definition or anything of the sort...true story is what i'm after.

There's this guy right now,i think he's in love with me, but we r just friends...we could be more than that,except i don't feel that tingly thing people say u're supposed to feel.

But errything else is perfect...except for the absence of TINGLY TINGLY.

what happened to the only boy i ever 'loved'? he moved away and i never heard from him again.

so i don't know why i believe so strongly that

i'm gonah marry him.

yep, yep. he's comin' back to me.

i read something somewhere about desperate women.

• roses are red
• bullets are lead
• take me back now
• or get shot in the head!

i laughed my skinnie lil ass off ehn!

that's a page from my mind about love.

p.s, i'm gonah invite y'all to my wedding.

thought i should share that.

_xx

Mj...michael jacskon or michael jordan?

hey bloggers, 'sup?

so, i'm about to yan about mj

''the only mj i know is michael jordan''

i didn't say that, my friend Busy did.

That's true in a way, while i was growing up, michael jackson wasn't in the picture at all...i mean in the music industry...true he was there around '95, '96, but i was only 3 or 4 years old. so, basically while i was getting taller and wiser, he wasn't there. i grew up listening to those like r kelly, celine dion, sisqo-thong song, remember?, even tony tetuila *omode meta n shere, ere o, won sere ayo*; my point IS, the only mj i heard around was michael jordan.

But i'm blogging about michael jackson.

The fact of the matter is, the guy is dead, dead and gone, and frankly it's bera that way.

I always tell people, when you wanna complain about your life, think of michael jackson's first. i mean, let's face it his life was miserable even with all the money and fame...eh? what am i saying? BECAUSE of the money and fame!

so, i don't really know what to believe, was he or was he not a pedo?

He liked kids, that's not to be denied at all,

but did he like them in a sick, twisted way?

Looking at the facts that i have gathered, which, i should tell u, are not much; if he was really one, hey he was close to that home alone whats-his-name? Someone Culkin, i dont really remember, why didn't he molest him?? heck why didn't he molest his kids? but then a still small voice(not GOD o) keeps telling me, the fact that no one knows about it doesn't mean it never happened.

y'all should listen to Katt Williams on michael jackson on youtube.

on an entirely unrelated topic,(not from mj, from williams :D) the boy was too famous for his own good, there was paparazzi all over his life; heck i wouldn't be surprised if they bugged his toilet to see the shape of his excreta just to make money out of it...i wouldn't be surprised at all. if he buys stuff, they wanna know why he chose green instead of yellow or something. its crazy.

And about his singing...

now, i don't know but am i the only one who feels that michael jackson's voice wasn't all that special???

personally i think he's just as good a singer as rkelly, cb and the others, its just coz his voice was feminine-kind of high pitched...but about his dancing skills???

He was the champion

well, that's it then. oh, y'all should also listen to the rest of the jacksons, theyre pretty good too especially jermaine,its just, mj took all the spotlight.

p.s i detest his lying stupid family-disowning crazy bitch of a sister LaToya. She made his life miserable, AND she lied and said she didn't get a nose job! i swear, even a blind man on a galloping horse can see the difference between her former fat nose and her present michael-jackson-style one.

personally i think she was jealous of him.

_xx

first timer

well, i feel i should tell you a little*the word being little* about myself, which brings me to the statement ''i could, but why?'' or is it a question? whatever.

it may come up little by little as i blog my life away, but im really not in the introducing mood right now, plus my friend just told me i have a major procastination problem. Normally,i wouldn't be this pissed...but he's right, so, i'm pissed. oh, and plus a friend of mine just lost her mom, and no one wants to tell me what happened, and i don't know what happened cos i'm not home. So, u can probably get just how pissed i am. i need info. and u know, there's this amazing piece of modern technology,its called a cellphone, but unfortunately, one of its limitations is, no numbers,no call.

now in a more modern world, i would just have to speak the name of the callee, and voila!

but we arent in that world so i'll just...

I could put myself in a better mood by re-living the happy hours i spent at the lake with my friends, oh and at the park too...actually i should do just that.

i woke up at 10:52 am as i usually do everyday, that is, after my mom called me from home at 7 am! i mean,i love her and all, but 7 am! well, to avoid digressing from the point, imma go on. so, my friend called me and said ''let's go to the park'', and since i didn't have anything else to do all day, i agreed and invited another friend, and we all went. My friend and i had an argument on the way...she raises her voice when we argue, and absolutely refuses to see reason, honestly, i love her, but she should listen to me sometimes, even if she's right...anyway, i told her, a person who has a boyfriend is a step closer to getting married than a person without one, because obviously you can't marry yourself.

''someone can see another person and say they wanna get married, immediately''

i didn't say that, she did.

and i'm like, no dating?? just marriage at first sight? lol, honestly

but of course she didn't listen to me, actually that's when she started to raise her voice.

she believes that if a person has a boyfriend, they don't have to get married.

i know that, even i am not that dumb, but they might get married and they might not. its a fifty-fifty chance...but a person without a boyfriend at all CANNOT get married to herself.

see my point? the one she's refusing to see?

so the park was fun, one of the rides made me feel so nauseous! u know that kind of nausea that stays just above your chest and refuses to go up or down? yeah...

yeah, do u know that racism thingy still exists?? on our way back from the lake, some idiot guy came and splashed water all over us...on a normal day, i wouldn't mind at all, because, you know young boys, always jokin around...but i pride myself on being able to read people, and this...this...creature, had this mean, nasty look that *i hate to admit this* scared me to death! if it wasn't broad daylight, i wonder what would've happened.

so, here's what i believe...

whoever started racism in the first place is highly stupid, its stupidity, my dad would say 'stupidity of the highest level'

But if ever *the word in use being EVER* there was to be racism, i mean at all at all o...

it should've been blacks against whites.

honestly, i stongly believe that we are more beautifulER, intelligentER, friendliER, and everythingER! heck, we have more melanin in our pinkies than an average white has in his whole body! now, don't get me wrong or anything,i like whites, they're awesome (we have the ER tho' ;)...) but i don't get the reason why they started the racism crap, its very...what's the word??...yeah, unfathomable.

now i've just gotta split, my soft, cool bed beckons.

i think i'm done here...for today at least.

ps. Blogging is...peaceful.

_xx