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Saturday, July 25, 2009

The tower Of Babel.

It's very important.

When you are in your very comfortable niche, with your family, you know,
in your beautiful home, mansion maybe, and your air conditioned room, all you do is go out and come in, and SPEAK to people, and they understand you. Language. You never stop for one second to think that in another part of the world, it wouldn't be so easy.
I, for one, could go to the market as i damn well pleased, and i never, and bear in mind we aint talkin just never, we r talkin' NEVER , not even for once, cared to look at the price of dollar, cos i wasn't interested, what did i need it for?

All that has changed now.

This language thing started from the tower of babel, yeah yeah i know you know but let's...revisit history ;)

Those men were all so...i-donno-the-word-for-it-but-it-sounds-like-jobless lol, anyway they were all so wareva, that they decided to build a flippin tower to reach the big guy in heaven!!! i'm like wth? Them no even fear sef.
You know humans now, pretty soon they'l just get into the elevator and press the button to wareva floor to see God,and pretty soon, they'll drop by un-announced, anytime they like, tap his head and say

''ahh, guy, wassap'',
lol, u know how you say hi to your friends now.
I'm pretty sure God saw the respect they had for him going down the drain, and he had to do something.
i gotta say somn tho', those guys were not wise, haba.

The fear of the big Guy is the beginning of wisdom.

So God prolly looked down and said

"what on MY green earth...???" lol

And he decided to put a stop to it, and since he couldnt destroy them with flood again, he decided to scatter their languages and disperse them across the surface of the earth lolll.

Maybe the next day when they got to work,the first was like

"Dobre den, yaks prava?"
and the other dude is like

''wth is this dude saying? are you ok?"

and another comes and says

"kilon she gbogbo yin? eje ka sise jo!''

lolll, i'm getting a lil ahead of myself, arent i?

But it must have been a funny sight!

Now here i am in another man's land, how-many-flippin'-years later, reaping the fruits of their a bad way.

i gotta say though, as languages go, the second dude was the luckiest.

I go to school each day, trying to understand the living souls babbling away around me...they say stuff i don't even understand, and i've been here a year. Its not like i don't understand anything at all...i'm not a retard, but its difficult, so darn difficult.

I was at the immigration office today...let me not even start on how i almost missed their working hours...on second thought, it wouldn't hurt to digress a bit ;)

So were trying to beat the deadline,which was one p.m, i dont know why they decided to close so early. we waited for the bus.
And waited.
And waited.

i know i tend to exaggerate sometimes, but this time, we waited for almost an hour, for a bus that wasn't forthcoming at all!!. AND WE WERE TRYING TO BEAT A DEADLINE! lol

We took a taxi at 12:30 and luckily, there was no traffic, we got there just in the nick of time.

We said our dobre dens (good day)...or my friend did, i kind of forgot...i was too busy reciting all the new words i had learnt in my head lol. She told us to go to room five.

I get to the room and there's a woman in it. she asks for my passport and all.
Next thing i know, she says 'pismo'

lol, i'm totally lost,i'm like wth? i just look at her confused. Its like u read and read for exams, and when u get there, u get totally different questions, u know??

And the funny thing is, i had heard that word before, and i had made a mental note to find out its meaning...

but obviously i hadn't.

lol i look at my friend and he's just as blank as i am...and the woman is getting pretty agitated.

''pismo pismo''
That's when my mind immediately went back to the tower of babel. I saw myself giving those men my LOOK for the predicament their work had put me, aaaand i saw them cringe lolll.


i heard that some nigerian women protested topless in lagos recently...i prolly shouldn't have laughed but i did lolll, i can't even really remember why they were protesting...and i honestly can't fathom why on earth a woman would feel she has to go half naked before she can be heard. I didn't know boobs could talk, mine don't ;)

oh well, some women don't see their boobs as private parts sha, so who am i to talk?

but talk, i will.

is this like, the aba women's riot in 1929 or what??

Needless to say, this is 2009

And the funniest part of it all is that these women who protested had nothing to hide. Honestly they were so old their boobs were dried up and flapping loll, the young women who indeed had good boobs were all clothed lollll.

p.s. i'm sick of those statuses i see on fb each day, saying nigeria is hopeless! i mean,it can never have hope with these attitudes i see around, dang. imma make myself clear once and for all. if i see any fb status thrashing nigeria,or our leaders, instead of praying for them, imma cuss that unfortunate person's skinny ass out and i won't apologise. haba! its getting too bad, honestly. i know that they are a bit slow and all, but all we need is to join hands and make nigeria better, is that so hard to do??

i'm proudly nigerian, God knows why he chose each and erryone of us, so do us all a favour and shut ur traps!
Do your part and Nigeria will most def be bera.
You can start by dropping your litter in the right places, that will go a very long way. Nigeria is really dirty and it's bad.

And they say, cleanliness is next to Godliness.

Nigeria needs change right now, and desperately too.
Protect your motherland, because 'ajo o d'abi ile' (there's no place like home).

And no matter where you go, Nigeria will always be an un-eraseable (i'm not sure that's a word, but it seems apt for the statement) part of you.


Manners...and ish

yo, whatsup blogtown?its me again

This time, i'm back with manners. It doesn't really matter what kind-table, toilet, even fb manners. Personally i think there should be a class on manners...i'm not saying i would be the teacher, heck i aint perfect, but really people should learn to talk to fellow humans with respect, even when insulting them...
kinda like bree hodge in desperate housewives. she can insult you in a very polite way lol.

So my story begins about six months ago. This dude i've known for a very long time in naija requested my friendship on fb. I used to look at him as one of those razz wannabes in church-no no don't get me wrong, i'm not a snob,but honestly some pips make you wanna shake your head!
I knew from the beginning that it was 'wahala', but how do you ignore a friend request from a friend, you know?
Anyway next thing i know this dude starts bugging me, making rude comments and what have you...once, he commented on my status
''i've been watching you for sometime now, you have mood swings''
imagine his effrontery!!!
i'm like wth, is he crazy or yes? igba wo la bere love ta n kiss??!!(when did we start goin out that we should start kissing already?)
so of course, i didn't reply him. He disappeared again for some time, then next thing i know again the idiot sends me a message

''didn't you see my message?? i told you you have mood swings, you should see a psychiatrist''

No, can you imagine??? can u honestly imagine??

i'm like noooooooo, wth (yet again), he didn't just call me crazy! he didn't just tell me to see a flippin' psychiatrist!!!
he dared say that to somebody of my status, of my calibre lol.

Again, i let it slide. my mom told me once,
''it is better to do nothing when ur angry because whatever u do in the spur of the moment may be more than what caused ur anger''
Wise soul, that woman:)
But he was slowly, surely but very steadily pushing me to the wall, and i was like 5mm from it.

Now, imma tell you about the day he actually stretched me to my limits.

I'm not a chelsea fan, but that doesn't mean i don't like the club or its players,cos i do.
now drogba, is another story.
Flippin dude is too temperamental, dang. He misses a goal, he raves. He falls, he rants. His club loses the match, he screams at the national tv

"it is a disgrace, it is a ****ing disgrace''
lol, it was so damn funny i racked my cribz laughing.

Recently, he scored a goal for his team,and seeing him again just brought back fond memories lol. i decided to share this with my friends on fb via my status.

Next thing i know, mr idiot is back again talking crap!
guess what he says this time??

wait for it...
wait for it...

''you don't have passion for what you do"!!!

NoOO00000. Flippin' pile of rat-droppings didn't just call me impassionate!!! Just because i find somn funny and i laugh??? that was a big no-no. He was definitely gonah get it this time.
So i guess you can guess(pun not intended)what i did.

I gave it to him without leaving anything out just as he asked for it :))))

you see,my mouth tends to run away with me sometimes :( its like asking for a spoon of rice and getting a whole pot. Ask for my trouble and receive it pressed down, shaken together and running over lol.

i really shouldn't give you all the sordid, gory details, i know you can imagine.


Now about yar'adua, wth is going on??? i know we were all harpin' on n on about obasanjo,but frankly i don't believe he was ever this bad!

And i heard the frail-looking dude has said no one should judge him till his tenure is over...but by then, it would be like crying over spilt milk, it'll be too late.

And call off the strike already, dang!

oh, before i forget,what the heck is the dollar doing way up at 185???!!!!

Frankly i haven't seen anything special Musa has done since he became president! All he does is talk talk and some more talk, and make more n more never-to-be-fulfilled-promises!

Light up nigeria, its too dark!!!

I know every cloud has a silver lining,but i've been looking and looking and i haven't been able to find even a little spark!
Ordinarily i would say i'm done looking, but that would make me sound like a quitter, and i may be many things, but quitter??
Not one of 'em.

Now i'm going to bed with a heavy heart...

no no actually no. Jesus said cast all your burden upon me cos i care,right?

so, i'm goin to pray with a heavy heart, but sleep with a very light one!

I cannot, will not,and absolutely refuse to believe that there's no hope.

God bless Nigeria.

I gotta split.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, my soft,cool bed beckons :)))