Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Would u please stop crying??
You're hurting me…
Your pain is painful,
It's tearing my insides out.
It's cutting my bruised heart
Into a million tiny shreds.
You think I don’t hear you at night??
You curl up in your duvet
And you cry yourself to sleep.
Please stop crying,
You're killing me.
You tell me your contacts got dust,
That's why the tears flow
But I know the truth,
You tell me the stains on your pillow
Were made by sweat,
I know the truth,
Please stop crying
I can't stand it anymore.
I am smiling,
But I'm not ok.
My heart is bleeding,
In the midst of this chaos
That is my life…
everything hurts like hell;
So, I am smiling,
But I am NOT ok.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
She waited in the shadows, at the right hand corner of the airport, and looked around for the one person who would make her smile on that miserable day…she hoped he would at least show up before he left, so she would have another chance to commit him to her memory, the scent of him, his single-dimpled smile, and his extremely white eyes…not that she would ever forget, but…just one last chance…once more…
He stood to the other corner and watched her as she looked for him, and just put all of her in his head, in that photographic memory of his that never ever forgot things…her hair, soft, full, natural, her very white eyes, her nose with the little mole on the side that looked like a very cute pimple, her lips, a natural shade of black and red…actually the only red part was the upper part of her lower lip…he had always dreamed of tasting them, surely they had to taste as delicious as they looked. He shook his head to dispel the thought and continued capturing her with his eyes…her eyes again, her brow-less eyes with the short, full lashes…he remembered when she had cut them off, claiming she wanted them to grow longer…he hadn’t told her then that he loved them short and very full…until they grew again the second time, short and full. At once those black-brown eyes of hers swiveled to him and caught him by full force. He would have blushed if he hadn’t had so much melanin in his skin. As it so happened, all he could do was smile sheepishly, embarrassed at being caught staring. Slowly he made his way through the throng of people, all the while keeping his eyes on her till he stood right in front of her.
''Hi'' he said.
''Hi'' she replied.
Then they just stood looking at each other, each thinking his own thoughts.
''Ahh, your folks?'' he asked
He laughed, and she committed it to memory too, that sweet, booming laugh.
She smiled, and he captured that moment too, there was no poetic sunlight framing her face, or wind blowing at her hair, but he thought she had never looked more beautiful.
Then without speaking, he stretched out his hands to her, and she sighed and went into them, resting her head on his teenage, gangly chest, as his head came to rest on her hair. He stood a good foot above her 5'3. There were no poetic abs, his chest wasn't so strong, but there wasn’t any place she'd rather be.
''Oh Ben, what are we gonna do?? It's not fair, it's not fair at all''
He turned his nose into her hair and inhaled, the smell of her apple hair cream, and the texture of the hair, he captured them all.
''I know. I also know we were meant to be together. We're gonna work this out, I promise''
She nodded and clutched at him as tightly as she could, all the while thinking about the different planes they would board in less than an hour. And she clutched tighter. He tightened his own hold too and they just stood there…an hour, a week, a year, it didn’t seem to matter. Just that they were together.
Then he drew her back and untangled himself. He removed his blue and grey coat and handed it to her.
''Here, keep this.''
''I want you to have it…I want you to have something of mine, ok?? Just keep it for me, I'll come for it''
She took it and held it gingerly, then gave up and buried her face in it. His scent, oh goodness, it had his scent.
Then she looked at him while she struggled to hold the burning tears behind her lids at bay, because she knew it broke his heart when she cried.
She smiled at him again, and he felt his heart slowly roll over. He lifted his hand out to her.
''Walk with me??'' he asked
''Sure'' and she took his hand.
Together they left the shadows and walked down the corridor until they had to go their separate ways. Their phones rang at the same time, and still holding hands, they answered, spoke for some time and hung up.
''Yeah'' he answered ''you too??''
''Yeah'' she said.
Time to go, they both said in their minds, and their hearts broke together, as one.
His hands moved to her face, and the light touch sent her nerves into frenzy.
He swallowed deeply and looked at her.
''I need…I have to do something, I need something to keep you inside me…I need…'' he was having trouble putting his feelings into words, so he simply lowered his head slowly, very slowly, until their lips were just a whisper of air apart. Then he closed his eyes and caught her lower lip between his lips.
It was a kiss as soft as air, and as achingly sweet as…as…
She opened her eyes and looked at him, wondering why he had decided to shatter her already broken heart…, the kiss affected him so bad, and his heart broke into a million pieces. He reached for her again, this time their lips moved leisurely over each other, no tongue involved…
Then they broke apart and just looked at each other, each just simply drinking the other up, never wanting the moment to end…and the tears slowly flowed unbidden down her cheeks. He wiped them away as quickly as they fell.
''Please don’t, you know it breaks my heart to see you cry'' then he wondered how a shattered heart could be broken again.
She nodded mutely. Their phones rang again, and they slowly started moving again…a hug, a soft kiss, another hug…
They slowly released each other until only their fingers were brushing. She blew him a kiss and ran, never looking back.
He rubbed the dull ache in his chest, mildly surprised his heart was still there, as he watched his princess go, Remi, the girl who had made his 18-year old heart fall in love. Then he turned and left, to board his plane to
She slept in his coat that night, in her room in the
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Saturday, October 31, 2009
- there's swine flu here, as i said earlier...but now it has spread to other cities, and the federal ministry of health has closed all universities for 3 weeks.
- as of yesterday, over 30 people have died. that should scare me right?? WRONG!! homegurl isn't even worried arrall *shrugs* momc is more worried than i am...she has every reason to be sha, she's a mom...i feel sorry for those that died tho', may their souls RIP.
- i have finally moved to a nu room, a two-sitter...on 9th floor...with a girl...a very nice girl i might add...and we are on good terms...i hope it stays that way.
- we were advised to stay indoors...but i just cant...its not like there's a snowstorm or anything, how can i just stay cooped up in my room?? abeg jo, swine who??
- i am broke,as in broke. by the end of this month,my account balance will be o.oo. yeah. that's why xmas cant come early enough.
- i just noticed today that i'm a really small person. as in really small. i'm 5'3 and i weigh 42 kg.
- people owe me $3oo...but even with that...i know im still in trouble...plus i dont know when they're gonah pay back...
- man utd won their match today:) like, i love that club, and im gonah die a united fan...
- i'm going to give writing a whole book a try...u never know...all those childish ones i wrote when i was btw 8 and 12...well, let's just say my mother wanted more...so, im trying.
- my head is currently full, which confuses me as hell!, and i just wanna scream, like SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
- between monday and today, i have eaten a whole chocolate cake, half of another one, and half of one vanilla one...well 3/4 really...i dont know where this sudden craving came from...and i'm not pregnant,i'm pretty sure.
- i have to stop blogging now...cos i have to send some picshures to BBC...before midnight cos my internet cable goes off at midnight.
- here are some pictures of people going around ternopil in masks...
a man who sells spices at the MEAT market...that's my black scarf at the corner, i had to pretend to be in the picture before he agreed to it lol.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Letter to my lost friend.
I have come down with the flu.
But you don’t know, cos u aren’t here.
The last time I had the flu
You were there.
You took care of me.
You stayed with me.
You helped me study.
Tablets and Caplets.
Food and Water.
Notebooks and textbooks.
Hot water bottles.
Sweaters and coats.
You were simply there.
Where are you now???
What happened to us??
One minute, tight friends.
I blinked, and you were gone.
If only I had held my eyes open just a second longer
I might have seen you disappear.
Now I'm only left with memories.
And semblances of you.
What really happened??
Help me understand, cos I just don’t get it.
Somehow,I don’t think it was just about that little tiff of ours.
And you never even bothered to explain.
Tell me, did you like to watch me wonder??
Or did you like to see me try so hard
To salvage a relationship that only I seemed to want??
And wonder, I did.
Did someone say something to him?
Did my words have a hidden meaning??
Was he threatened??
Was I simply too young and immature for him??
Did I bore him that bad??
Did he want a way to simply stop being my friend??
My imaginations ran wilder, believe me.
You bought me a necklace and matching earrings on my birthday.
I look at them everyday.
I miss you everyday.
There are some days I miss you so much it hurts.
Like a pain I can't relinquish.
I miss the way you looked at me when I annoyed you.
The way you always let me win all the fights even when I didn’t want to.
The things only you could say to make me feel better.
The way you always checked up on me after school.
The way we talked late into the wee hours of the morning.
The way you listened to me like no one else ever did.
Most especially the way you believed in me
Even when I didn’t believe in myself.
You came to know me in such a short time.
I was starting to get used to you.
And then you took it all away,
You waved your magic wand
And whisked it all away,
In one breath, with just a wave.
You've given me ample time to recover,
But I haven’t.
Will I ever??
Why am I writing this, I wonder??
I just need to understand.
Its been 7 months,
And I still miss you.
Will I send this one to you?
Or will it just remain in my collection??
Or will it meet the same fate as its predecessors,
In my recycle bin???
This too, I wonder.
You-know-who. (not voldemort)
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
on this day, it is with a sad heart that i announce to you that.....
I HAVE COME DOWN WITH THE FLU.
lol...wait its not an lol mara ohh, flu does serious things to my system...im talking serious pounding head-ache, and u know how your nose can be blocked, but still very runny??? ehen, its like that. and u cant sniff it in cos ur nose is all blocked and ish...its hell i tell you.
plus, i go to the bathroom every 20-30 minutes, cos i drink hot chocolate like crazy... i have no appetite for anything else...not that i had much of one before or anything, and i have scratchy-scratchy throat...but my voice sounds very lovely, thats the silver lining in this bleak cloud.
my refrigerator has gone crazy!!! it freezes everything...a refrigerator, not a freezer oh! i neednt tell you what the freezer does now.
This fall is crazy-cold.
i swear last fall wasnt nearly as cold as this...makes me wonder how winter will be...or maybe with the overly hot summer i forgot how cold last fall was...
but im nearly done with my fall-winter shopping...in fact, if not for the ojukokoro i have for these absolutely gorgeous pair of boots i fell in love with as i was window-shopping, i would say, i'm done. but i have to have those boots. its that simple.
Meanwhile, yayyy, my teacher changed her mind about my donating urine!...
i dont know what changed her mind...but i hope it remains permanently changed.
that's it then, tweeps.
oh wait, someone said one funny thing on twitter : erryone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege
lol,i know its not funny but it cracked me up so bad!...she also said ''if u're 'stuck-up', please remain there''
lol, at least that one is funny shey?
ok, time to go.
--do not underestimate what u are and overestimate what you're not--
Monday, October 5, 2009
i dont know why.
plus i have a urine-donation hanging over my head tomorrow
as in, i have to donate MY urine for an experiment in class tomorrow :(
i've been worried all week.
and i havent finished studying my glycolysis.
sometimes...no, scratch that.
ALL the time, i wonder what i doing in med school...
but its not that bad sha...after i know what im supposed to have studied...
med school...med school.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
pleasssee kindly do NOT comment on my dress sense, or lack thereof :) i had to wear something inside it, it was so cold!
i think its a sin to be this hot...because you can make a woman do all sorts of things *emphasis on the all*
i have just been given a choice...get up now or die, lol :)
i cant proof-read, so just bear with ur homegirl
later, u guys.