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Friday, September 17, 2010

My Gutter Experience




Have you ever fallen into a gutter?

Think: Green, moss-covered, algae-covered, gooey gutter with saliva and mucus and every other unthinkable thing.

Think : Naija gutter. Rainy season.

Have you ever??

If no, then pray it never happens.

If yes, then accept my deepest condolences, for only we the victims know what it's like.

There's no way to describe it, you have to feel it for yourself.

You will never forget the feeling. This thing happened to me about three, four weeks ago, and it's still fresh in my mind.

It was my last day at home, and I wanted to see the whole neighbourhood. So my sister and I took a walk into town.

You know those rubber shoes they wear in Naija these days? Those soft, soundless, comfy ones? Yeah, my sister had a pair. I loved them, and decided to buy mine, and some Suya while i was at it. I saw this woman across the gutter, and she was selling some rubber things, so I thought she would have. I was so intent on getting across to her, I didn't look at the plank that stretched across the gutter. 

SNAP

Like film trick, I was lying amid all the gooey stuff. Yes.

It was like a dream. My sister yelled for me, but as a butter babe, she couldn't get me out of there.

Nigerians are so nice, so so nice.

In one minute I was in the gutter, and in less than that, I was out. People were all around me, saying sorry, everything. My sister got me some water and cleaned me up...and me...I was still in a trance. I couldn't believe it.

But no one laughed.

Over here, if the snow is slippery and you land on your butt, no one will help you up...or they probably will...after they have doubled over with laughter, and pointed fingers at you, and wiped the tears from their eyes.

Yes, i know it's all jokes, but back home, I was so surprised that no one laughed. I love Nigerians.

Needless to say, I scrubbed the hell out of my body, in fact I'm almost sure I saw bruises. I didn't break any bones, and I still bought my Suya lol.


And so, that was/is my Gutter Experience :(:

Y'all have a great weekend.




7 CerebrallyEndowed views:

Myne Whitman said...

You've scarred me by reminded me of all that stuff in gutters. I fell into the gutter once as a child but it was in the dry season. People helped me out pretty quickly too. I have a scar to show for it sha...

etoile Oye said...

lol... I have a number of gutter experiences... will probably blog about them. My most painful and most memorable one was in my first year of Uni. I was so shy of boys that rather than walk past the boys hostel, I decided to pass behind it. I was so nervous and in a hurry to cross the building I didn't notice a section of the back gutters had been opened for de-silting. i fell right into it, hitting my leg hard on an iron rod. I still have that scar. and my attempts to avoid boys failed cos when i fell, some boys screamed 'sorry' from their room. they had been watching me the whole time!

CerebrallyBusy said...

@Myne LOL sorry!!

@oye LMAO you got jokes!!! hahahaha i laughed so hard! please blog about them pretty soon, eh?

neefemi said...

i drove into the gutter does that count and is it ok to laugh now? Lol, pele i can only imagine how i would have nearly burnt myself with water...

Hope you are good babe?

2cute4u said...

@ Myne.. Still have my scar too..

Ehya.. sorry.That's the sweet thing about Nigerians.. They show care more often than not..

Tisha said...

i fell in the gutter yesterday
BB craZe
and i don't even have a BB
but i was online on my phone
so i couldn't even complain
I just washed off the dirt and
kept going...

Rolly Corvin said...

LOL! You're a very good writer. I remember falling into a gutter once when I was small, and the worst part is my family still teases me about it. Grrr... I'll never forget that gooey/slimy gutter stuff.