This letter, I wrote to my ex-bestfriend a couple of years ago. The only friend who ever really hurt me. Of course I don't have the flu right now. I'm simply too lazy to write something fresh so bear with me.
I have come down with the flu.
But you don’t know, cos u aren’t here.
The last time I had the flu
You were there.
You took care of me.
You stayed with me.
You helped me study.
Tablets and Caplets.
Food and Water.
Notebooks and textbooks.
Hot water bottles.
Sweaters and coats.
You were simply there.
Where are you now???
What happened to us??
One minute, tight friends.
I blinked, and you were gone.
If only I had held my eyes open just a second longer
I might have seen you disappear.
Now I'm only left with memories.
And semblances of you.
What really happened??
Help me understand, cos I just don’t get it.
Somehow,I don’t think it was just about that little tiff of ours.
And you never even bothered to explain.
Tell me, did you like to watch me wonder??
Or did you like to see me try so hard
To salvage a relationship that only I seemed to want??
And wonder, I did.
Did someone say something to him?
Did my words have a hidden meaning??
Was he threatened??
Was I simply too young and immature for him??
Did I bore him that bad??
Did he want a way to simply stop being my friend??
My imaginations ran wilder, believe me.
You bought me a necklace and matching earrings on my birthday.
I look at them everyday.
I miss you everyday.
There are some days I miss you so much it hurts.
Like a pain I can't relinquish.
I miss the way you looked at me when I annoyed you.
The way you always let me win all the fights even when I didn’t want to.
The things only you could say to make me feel better.
The way you always checked up on me after school.
The way we talked late into the wee hours of the morning.
The way you listened to me like no one else ever did.
Most especially the way you believed in me
Even when I didn’t believe in myself.
You came to know me in such a short time.
I was starting to get used to you.
And then you took it all away,
You waved your magic wand
And whisked it all away,
In one breath, with just a wave.
You've given me ample time to recover,
But I haven’t.
Will I ever??
Why am I writing this, I wonder??
I just need to understand.
Its been 7 months,
And I still miss you.
Will I send this one to you?
Or will it just remain in my collection??
Or will it meet the same fate as its predecessors,
In my recycle bin???
This too, I wonder.
You-know-who. (not voldemort)