Half-rant.

Don't you just hate pretenders??

Don't you just wanna bash their faces in and scream at them until they shut the hell up??

Why pretend?? I mean, why bother??

Life is too short for me to be anything but myself.

And if that aint enough for you, then that's your goddamn problem, but don't you be standing there like some holier than thou fool who is better than everybody.

If there's one thing I like myself for, it's that I don't hide stuff. If you vex me, I will tell you. If you ask my opinion of something, I will tell you.

Why do people ask for stuff, and when you tell them the truth, they get mad?

Like, someone records a crappy ass song (everyone is a singer these days), and the person wants my opinion, and I say ''Sorry love, but that was rubbish''.

Wo, me I go tell you straight. If you like, be Obama's uncle's aunt's daughter. Na you know.

And the person stops talking to me.

If you don't want criticisms, then why are you asking?? At least I wasn't the one who opened my mouth and just said it, you ASKED. So why not just remove the stick from your nyash and get over it?

But nooo, the beef remains there for life.

Why is saying the truth considered rude??

Why don't people like to be criticised?

Why do people pretend??

You can pretend if you like. That's fine. But don't be acting like one goody-goody pesin.

Why is there wickedness in the world?

Why why why

I'm full of questions today; it's whatever, really.

Sometimes i just want to know.

Le sigh.

On a completely different note........

BET awards!

P. square and MI got nominated for best international act, yayy!

I think they deserve it, big time, especially P. square.

Like, they worked extra hard for this, sooo yeah.

MI is talented. But he lacks videos....which makes me wonder, if he got nominated for BET without videos.....imagine if he had videos.

Hmmn, Grammy babyyyyy.

On yet another different note, Mama goes six feet under tomorrow...was supposed to be 19th...dunno what happened...point is, tomorrow is the final good-bye.

And guess where I'll be??

In class, that's where.

studying Shigellosis and whatsit.

Bladdy 'Ell.

When I should be holding my sister's hand and pouring sand on her grave, with my head on my brother's shoulder, my right foot on my my mom's laps, and my left foot on my dad's.

Ok, weird position, i know lol.

But it's ok. I think. I hope.

Ok. Off to study the blasted shigellosis. Yes.

I hope I even got my point across. I'm too tired to proofread, so please, no ''Gbagaun's'' abeg.

Yours-in-questions,

The busy brains.

Memories of Mama

#Longpostalert

Tuesday 20th April 2010...6:30pm

That’s my phone ringing. I pause my movie and grope around for the phone. I pick it up without looking at the caller ID.

‘’…Temi, mama is dead’’

My annoyance at having my movie interrupted dissipates. I am suddenly plagued with so many emotions; I cannot differentiate one from the other.

My sister keeps talking but I don’t hear what she says. That simple phrase keeps repeating itself in my mind. First I’m confused as hell, then my mind slowly grasps the news, then I’m sad that mama, my mama has died. Then I’m happy that she has left all the suffering of this world behind, then I’m mad that she didn’t wait for me to arrive home, to at least say goodbye.

Then my heart breaks, I actually hear the snap. My heart weeps…

‘’she died this morning…’’ she continues

I take in a ragged breath and release it almost immediately.

‘’Temi please don’t cry…you know she lived a good life’’ she says earnestly.

I just hold the phone to my ear and I’m not sure what to do with my other hand, so I put it in my blue jean pocket.

The phone keeps passing between her and my mother…I know I’m supposed to be consoling my mother, but I couldn’t get the words out.

Somehow ‘’I’m sorry’’ seems like such a lame thing to say in these times.

The credit finishes…or my mom hangs up…I’m not sure, but I hear the dial tone in my ears.

I drop the phone and think about my mama…in my mind’s eye, the clock slowly goes back….

I’m five again. Mom said to have garri for lunch, with sugar and groundnuts. Mama puts very little sugar in our garri, cos she doesn’t want us to have ‘jedi-jedi’ Then she puts the sugar on the topmost shelf, so that even with the chair, we can’t reach it. Fast forward a few years, I’m what, ten? She can’t do this anymore, cos we’re now the same height. So she wraps it under her wrapper and puts it under her pillow J

Fast forward again a few years…I’m 13…the neighbor’s son is eyeing me. Mama gives me the sex talk. I don’t get half of it…but she keeps ringing it in my head…the mortification lol.

Anyway at this point, tears start to roll down my cheeks…my friends think I’m silly for crying…(she was over 100)…but I’m not mourning or anything…the tears just keep coming…I think I’m crying cos I’m gonna really miss her…not because she died.

Things started going downhill around 2008…she had a mild stroke. She really thought she was gonna die then…I guess God had something else in mind huh??

It really hurt me to see her like that…she was a really strong woman…she used to wash all the clothes in that my big house…whether they were dirty or not…and then suddenly after the stroke, she couldn’t even go to the bathroom before peeing all over.

It was sad.

I’m glad she died.

Because at least she’s in a better place now. She’s resting. She isn’t sick anymore.

That’s what consoles me.

Mama…rest in the bosom of the Lord. We will surely meet again at the feet of Jesus. Until then…

p.s: I still can’t believe she’s dead, you know? I always thought she would outlive us all…ok not exactly…but I thought she would at least live to see her great-great grandkids by me L

The Miracle

Hey guys!

So, this blog is so dirty i don't know where to start cleaning from.....i just lost my blogging spirit, you know??

My life must currently be so boring...cos i dont even have nothing to blog about.

School's killing me. Like, no exaggeration this time. I can't breathe. I'm up to my neck in chemicals and cadavers. ugh.

So last Thursday i was 18. It's been a week in the adult business...the only difference i noticed was the two extra pimples i got...tragic, tragic.

Yes yes so maybe i have a little gist hehe...ok so on my birthday, I had a class in the hospital...I didnt really expect it to amount to much you know?? but i was like, 'Hmm God, you must give me an additional birthday gift o' (the first one was that call i got from home...My mom got promoted...she's now an Associate professor :) in case you're wondering...that's just one step away from being a full professor :D...what was that? am i happy?? damn right i am! ecstatic, even :D)

So i left for class...it didn't start out great, considering the fact that i had to wear scrubs twice my size, and the top had no button at all! plus i got to class a little late, and i didnt even pack my lunch...you could say i wasn't prepared at all.

I will spare you the gory details of that boring class...the fact was...

wait for it...

wait for it...

SURGERY!!...

I got to scrub in!

well not exactly scrub in, in that sense...but hey I got into the OR and watched a Caesarean Section! Gosh, it was AWESOME! I swear awesome is such an understatement...it was...fulfilling...for the first time, i didnt doubt my decision to study med...like it was awesome...so terrifying...i mean, look how the surgeons knew just what muscles and fascia to cut, and the ones to leave, look how they efficiently stopped the bleeding, look how they fought to bring out that tiny little head...i mean they FOUGHT! I thought for a second the baby was gonna come out with a mashed head lol...

But when she came out, Gosh...i felt dizzy. like i thought i was gonna faint. i kept saying 'Oh my God' over and over again, i thought they were gonna bounce me from the OR.

It was a miracle.

Gosh, it was an AWESOME MIRACLE!

It was the best birthday gift ever. You know, to watch the beginning of a new life. It actually took me a while b4 i remembered it was still my birthday and the little girl was my birthday mate. i was light-headed mehn.

Well...after that i went out with a couple o' friends...this Egyptian restaurant with terrible, over-priced food hehe...ok maybe it wasnt that terrible...but i ate so much i almost couldnt get up hehe...

so my birthdays just keep getting better and better...but i wonder...what could top this year's??

Well...that's for God to know and for me to find out, yes??

Oh wait....did y'all hear that Goodluck Jonathan and Turai Yar'adua are having an affair??

APRIL FOOL!!!

lol.......GOTCHA heheheeee

#BYE

goodbye to 17

When I see tomorrow

I will never see 17 again

When tomorrow comes

17 will leave me

In exactly 1 hour

Tomorrow will come

And 17 will go.

Forever.

Mixed emotions…

They plague me right now.

Happiness

For a new year

Gratefulness

For life.

Fear

Of responsibility.

I’ve always been an adult,

But right now??

It’s official.

Merry birthday to me.

it's missing

where is my blogging spirit??

anyone seen it around??

i cant find it anywhere.

sunday february the fourteenth.

My day started with a text from my best friend.

''May the one you think of, think of you today''.

A very simple but great message.

i loved it.

too bad it didn't happen to me.

oh i got gifts and invitations to dinner and all...

but not from the one my heart longs for :)(

{ note: this sign '':)(''...means i'm not really sure whether to smile or frown}

oh well, my mother always says

''you cannot always get what you want''

smart woman, that one. she even forgot it was val's day today, Bless her soul :)

Please don't beef valentine's day! please please please.

just leave it for those of us who love it. i love its 'overrated-ness'. Thank you.

but not even a text?? HMMPH!

note to self:

T, stop missing what is not missing you! OkThanksBye.

so i hope y'all had a great day?? i had fun though...like i really had fun...but there was still a little wistfulness in my eyes that only my best friend could see.

so tell me...what did y'all do??

p.s: don't you just love that picture?

i have never...

HI!

isn't this baby really cute?? i want cute babies!

so i realized today that i haven't done many things...like a lot of things most people who have lived as long as i have, have done

and here i am, listing a few...

i have never:

eaten bologna

gone bungee jumping

raised my voice at my father

been girly girly

had sex

gone on a real date

had a boyfriend

been a muslim

tried on a bikini

had my own room

had an older sister

weighed more than 44kg

repeated a class

been betrayed

been to silverbird cinemas

(actually i have just never been to the movies lol...yeah i know what you're thinking but hey i have a home theatre and i can buy popcorn and switch off the lights hehe)

been to america or london

loved miley's voice

had to make a reaaaally big decision

worked.

seen avatar or terminator or invictus or any of those new sci-fi movies.

been to the spa.

driven a car.

tried on jeggings.

had my heart broken.

been to the studio

liked the harry potter boy

had my nails done

bought a belt with my money

engaged in fisticuffs with a non-family member

been to a mosque.

gotten a val's day gift.

(loooooool i'm kidding jo, y'all bought that didn't you??)

been to KFC.

smoked a cigarette/shisha

drunk beer(and i never will)

had a BB

been to a (strip) club

gotten a tattoo

gone out with a crop-top...or bum shorts.

gotten other piercings besides the ones my mama gave me.

dyed my hair.

had my nose done.

tried on contacts.

used braces.

filed my toe-nails.

been snowed in.

#deepbreath that's about all i can think of right now lol...i tried didn't i?? i might edit the post later if i remember somn else...or if i'm in the mood...

what haven't you ever done?? tell me :)

yours-in-neverS

TheBusyBrains